


Avail

by UnicornPopcorn14



Category: One Piece
Genre: AND SWEET, Crying, Gen, Grief, Guilt, Like saaaaad, Nakamaship, Nightmares, Parallels, Post-Time Skip, Sleep talking, i think, it's sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:34:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29320992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnicornPopcorn14/pseuds/UnicornPopcorn14
Summary: “Cold…”Nami opens her eyes at the faint murmur, her gaze shifting to the source without a double take.
Relationships: Monkey D. Luffy & Mugiwara Kaizoku | Strawhat Pirates
Kudos: 37





	Avail

**Author's Note:**

> This is my second Luffy&Nami Nakamaship fic so far. I don’t know why but I love the countless parallels between these two. I should consider writing other dynamics for the rest of the crewmembers as well, but that’s for another day. Right now, just enjoy this sweet short drabble! ;)

One thing that Nami learned during her journey with her crewmates, is that there’s always someone amongst them keeping a lie to themselves.

A lie, that may seem harmless to them; that may seem like it won’t matter whether or not they are spilled. Until they decide to fix everything on their own, without the others’ help. Without their captain’s.

Nami was the first to act upon that specific order.

She wanted to handle everything on her own. She believed she _needed_ to do so. It was her problem, after all, so why involve everyone else? Why should she let them see the pain she had hidden for so long? Whether that would be the citizens of her village, or some three guys that had known her for a month at best.

Apparently, none of these questions mattered to Luffy.

Luffy’s the type of guy whose emotions speak for him. The one who laughs at something funny, cries at what saddens him and rages at whoever pisses him off. It was simple as that.

So when he confronts someone who has bottled up his feelings for so long, it’s like an interesting contrast. He would just question who he needs to beat, and beats them. A way of telling the other that… _you should’ve just asked_.

And Nami knows this feeling. Heck, she _lived_ it. Watching the one that had scarred her get beaten to the ground, seeing the room that she had spent years crying in torn apart. She kept standing there, wondering to herself, _why does this guy risk his life for me? What good have I done to him?_

And just giving a whole lot of silent Thank you’s.

But now that she’s here, surrounded by her eight sleeping family members, sitting by the forest fire in silence, she’s come to the conclusion that… this is just how Luffy is. The guy who’d beat a lion for a dog, a fishman for his navigator, a warlord for his friend, challenge the world government for his archeologist, and the list goes on…

“Cold…”

Nami opens her eyes at the faint murmur, her gaze shifting to the source without a double take. She didn’t even realize that she had dozed for a while, shaking her head slightly to get rid of the dizziness. All while clutching on the blanket wrapped around her. Man, she wishes Sanji was in a better condition. He would have insisted on taking her shift -not that Nami minds in any way-, but seeing him wrapped around his own self with bandages from head to toe… Nami can’t be that evil to wake him up.

Focusing back to the whisperer who has awakened her in the first place; which was, with no doubts, Luffy –she just knows the tone-, Nami blinks as she stares at the resting boy before her, who has somehow travelled all the way across the circle without her realizing, ending up by Brook’s side rather than Usopp’s. Since Brook is a skeleton –seriously, there is no time of the day where she isn’t getting reminded of that-, he has no blanket around him, leaving her captain shivering beside him, his hand travelling faintly in search for something to cover himself up with. Nami shakes her head in a matter of both fondness and tiredness, getting up to assist the straw hat possessor.

She comes to a close and before reconsidering it, Nami takes off her source of warmth around her, and lays it upon her captain. Luffy instantly curls around it with a contented sigh, a small smile automatically spreading his face. Nami decides that, if she wants to stay awake for the shift, she has to keep away from leaning into a tree that might suck her instantly into oblivion. And who knows how many enemies or dangerous creatures are running around their little campsite? Sleeping is a dangerous option for her and her crew, and so, she decides to sit down in the middle of the circle, where she lost her sweet blanket. She might even watch Luffy’s movements and figure out how the heck he teleports.

Crossing her arms, the orange-haired notices just how chill it is, and for a moment she rethinks her decision and decides to get her blanket back. But Luffy is already babbling about Sanji and meat, and Nami can’t bring herself to do that. Instead, she scoots closer to the fire, rubbing her hands in front of it in order to embrace some heat. It works a little…

“…you…promised…”

“Huh?” Nami turns her head, realizing that her captain is suddenly a little closer. She slides back to see Luffy’s face better. Something isn’t right. Luffy sounded a mix of hurt and anger, which is new for her sleeping captain, as long as she knows. Luffy doesn’t often talk in his sleep this loudly, and the words that emit would always be about food or the cook of their ship. There is usually nothing more to it.

But all of that comes crumbling down when she sees Luffy’s expression in the dim light. The shining tears rolling down the painful grimace that is drawn on his face. Nami sits in silence, as if expecting something to come, a hint for the puzzle. The reason behind the scene before her. What the terrible thing that can drive her cheerful naïve captain into tears is.

“…don’t…g-go…”

Another set of tears follow, and Nami wishes she could beat whatever thing Luffy is having an inner fight against right now with her fists. Because she hates this. She hates what she’s looking at. The one who has always been strong for them getting his heart shattered alone in his sleep.

Because she knows the feeling.

“…don’t…”

Nami opens the eyes she didn’t know she had closed, now noticing that she, too, has streams down her face. She quickly wipes them with her wrists, then pauses uneasily when she hears the following hushed statement.

“…Ace.”

Lowering her hand slowly, and steadily, Nami’s eyes turn from solid to soft in less than a second, her gaze expressing deep sorrow as she tried her best not to have another episode of sobbing along her captain. She simply reaches a hand and wipes the streams on her captain’s face with a thumb, which doesn’t do much considering that Luffy is still having a crying fit and seemed like he isn’t going to stop soon.

She closes her eyes, her thoughts taking her back to that lonely place… To that park that had been filled with people that weren’t of her kind. To the room that she had woken up so many times in, her face covered in tears from the nightmares that she’d encounter. About her mother. About her own mother getting shot in front of her before she could even say goodbye. Nami knows that cursed feeling. No, she _lived_ the feeling; of not being able to protect your beloved and seeing them gone before you get a chance to wrap your head around it. And worse, being alone while going through it all.

Nami inhales a shaking breath, rethinking her mind over again. Out of all the people who could have been keeping lies to themselves right now… She could’ve expected Sanji going through this, she could’ve expected Robin, or Usopp, heck, everyone could’ve expected her; but to think that it’s her captain. Something clearly is out of place. Because Monkey D. Luffy isn’t weak. He's so carefree and out of this world, all while speaking his mind whenever he wants. There was never a thing that binds him, so getting trapped in his own mind is simply... not her captain. Not the Luffy she knows. Yet again, a lot of things have changed in these two years, and a foreign feeling suddenly overcomes Nami.

Guilt. _That's_ how it felt. For not being there when her captain needed her the most. Nami wishes she could convince herself that her captain being broken all alone right now isn't her fault. But the thing is, yes, it is. She, and all of her crewmembers are to blame. Just because Luffy has never brought up his brother’s death to them, doesn't mean that the scar isn't there, and Nami now feels ten times worse because of how stupid she is.

Damn it she KNOWS, better than anyone, how it feels, but never once spoke to her captain about it. Isn’t it enough that they couldn’t give him any help in these two years?! Luffy still thinks that he should deal with this on his own, but he doesn’t _need to_. He should… He should’ve…

_Just asked._

Maybe that’s how Luffy felt whenever they betrayed him.

Nami wraps her arms around her, frowning in fury directed to herself while her lower lip trembled. Luffy’s feature has finally rested, with tears still staining his face. Trying her best to control her shaking, she brings the blanket and wipes the excess tears of her captain. That’s the least thing she can do.

An apprehensive sigh comes out of her, as she gives Luffy a quick rub on his arm for reassurance before standing up. Without a word, she grabs their doctor and heads for the tree to rest on it, the reindeer in her arms like a teddy bear as she bring her knees up.

“Hm… Nami…? Are you okay…?”

Nami smiles at Chopper, patting his naked head to sleep, “Sorry, doctor. I’m borrowing your warmth for tonight.”

Chopper yawns, “Oh, it’s okay…” And immediately goes back to slumber.

Nami rests her head on the doctor’s, watching the embers coming out of the fire. Luffy is on next shift, but she decides to spare him for tonight. She doesn’t think she’ll be able to go to sleep, anyway.

But tomorrow, there will be no acts of mercy upon the captain, for he will be interrogated by her, if not by the whole crew once they know what has happened.

And Nami wouldn’t be any happier to help her captain, even though she’s sure he thinks he doesn’t need it.

But he needs it.

And she knows.

**Author's Note:**

> Eeeeeeh~ Not as short as I expected, but hey! At least it was a fun ride, in my opinion. Or a painful ride, that is. Look, Idk what I’m doing, but at least I’m trying. XD


End file.
